US Diet ClubWelcome to the First American Diet Club!
Blinded by a Battered Body Image
mistress_f
/ CC BY 2.0Body image is a critical piece of the weight management puzzle. So often I hear men and women tell me that they look in the mirror and see only what’s wrong with their bodies, blinded to their physical strengths and beauty. I’ve had supermodels desperately wondering what to do with a back or leg or arm that’s “just not right”. Or there are the handsome hulks who stare into that mirror and see biceps or triceps that are, in their eyes, woefully inadequate. Their common bond is a tortured obsession about achieving a perfect body, and a fear of losing any level of what they think is perfect today. Recently I received this posting on my weight management message board from dipoly:
“Hi everyone, I am an almost 40 year old woman (I will be 40 in January), but everyone tells me I look 25. I am tiny – about 4’10″ and about 95 pounds. I have been about this weight since I was 16, except when I was pregnant with my daughter about 19 years ago when I gained 30 pounds. But because I was young and I exercised, I lost the weight pretty quickly. I always watched what I ate because my family is pretty obsessive about appearance and weight. I had an eating disorder years ago and I still suffer with body image issues. However, I still carry a roll of skin/fat in my lower abdomen that I cannot get rid of and it bothers me. I exercise and do crunches and still it won’t budge. I even went to a plastic surgeon because I am so obsessed with it. She said it was excess skin and no amount of exercise will get rid of it. I want to be perfect (yes, I have body image issues!), but I don’t want to have abdominoplasty. Can I get rid of my belly bulge and if so, how, and if not, how can I come to terms with it? Thank you!”
This is not an unusual posting. I actually hear this kind of plea fairly frequently. So what’s going on here? First, her upbringing was infused with obsession about “appearance and weight”. That’s a major red flag. Can anyone out there relate? Her parents were messaging that a perfect body is a good thing, something that can be achieved and that one should strive for. Hey parents, are you listening? Next up, “I had an eating disorder…and still suffer with body image issues”. There is not past tense to this. She’s always had it and continues to live with it. I’m not surprised. I’ll guess that it involved chronic restrictive eating, because this perfection issue involves living in constant fear of weight gain and altering a faux perfect persona. After all of these years, she still wants to be perfect.
Then she became pregnant and, as should be expected, her post pregnancy body, is different than her usual norm. A typical post partum abdomen will usually have some loose skin associated with it. When you gain and remove 30 pounds, there’s a residual skin hang. That’s a small price to pay for delivering into this world a beauty baby. But, a woman with a dysfunctional body image will see this as a crisis. This is a flaw in her otherwise perfect vision of herself. As a result, she’ll continue to obsess about returning to her old normal. She is a prisoner of her own obsession, blinded by a lifelong battle with body image. No number of crunches or calorie pinching will alter that roll of post pregnancy abdominal skin. What worries me is that even if she opted for plastic surgery, as she enters her perimenopausal years, there will be other body changes that will threaten her perfect world – the emergence of the Menopot, breasts that start heading south, and wrinkles. So, what’s the solution?
I like to say that in the midst of difficulty lies opportunity. For dipoly, this is a chance to come to grips with her disordered body image and free herself from the bondage of the quest for perfection.
First, I would highly recommend getting professional help. The National Association of Eating Disorders has a directory of professionals who are available to help. Eating disorders are serious business. You can’t fight this battle by yourself. You need someone to guide you through the process of undoing the Old Normal (obsession about perfection), and into a New Normal (healthy, realistic perception of your physical self as you age). If she doesn’t, she’ll be condemning herself to live with the constant stress and anxiety associated with this kind of obsession. This hammers the immune system and contributes to rapid aging.
Second, I always recommend to everyone to concentrate on what’s right with your body. Go ahead and make a list of at least five things that are wonderful about your body- strong, flexible, great legs, super back, beautiful skin, amazing hair, etc. If you can’t come up with much of anything, ask your best friend or partner what they think. You may be blinded to your own strengths because you’re concentrating on what you think are your weaknesses. When you read the list, figure out how you can further capitalize on your strengths.
Third, get out of obsessing about some anatomical part of your body by doing something wonderful with it, like physical activity. Concentrate on performance. See how marvelous your body is when you put it all together and play Frisbee with the dog, or go roller blading with the kids, or walk/run that 5K.
Jesus Solana
/ CC BY 2.0In Body for Life for Women, there is an introductory note from one of my patients, Betty, a breast cancer survivor. She’d joined me on one of my “Peeke Week Retreats” hiking up Green Mountain in Aspen, Colorado. As we reached the summit, she looked at me and began to laugh. I asked her what was up, and she smiled widely as she exclaimed, “Here I am at the top of a mountain, gazing over this incredible panorama of clouds and peaks. And, the last thing on my mind is ‘Gee, I wish my thighs were smaller’!”
The message is clear. Get out of your obsession by getting your body out there and celebrating its power and beauty. Toss the mirror, get some professional guidance and lace up your sneakers. A healthier body image awaits you.
Related Topics:
- Weight Loss & Fitness with Pamela Peeke, MD, MPH, FACP
- Get the Weight Loss Wisdom and Fitness newsletters in your inbox weekly!
Labels: body image, eating disorder, healthy lifestyle
Similar Posts:
- Shoot for Progress, Not Perfection
- Gift Yourself with a Better Body Image
- 7 Ways to Stay Mentally Healthy With Physical Activity
- Are You an Apple or a Pear? Part One
- Kids With Coordination Disorder More Likely to Be Overweight
Leave a Reply